Dirt World

Tuesday was a LONG day. First we had the Embassy visit, which we met for in the hotel lobby at 7:45. Bus did not show until around 9:00, we were finally seated in the embassy around 10:00 for our briefing. It is a little disconcerting when the windows have plaques next to them saying things like: Glass Kills. In case of an emergency stay away from all windows. Nice.

Though we had a nice little meeting, most of the staff had been sucked over to Jeddah to attend to Karen Hughes, Bush’s new appointee as Under-secretary of State for Public Diplomacy. See, she is supposed to do things overseas like improve the image of the United States. Kind of like what all us college reps are doing, by getting students to come over and check it out. Wonder if she knows we are here at the same time? Fulfilling her mission for her? Perhaps she’d like to come to the college fair and show her support? No? Instead she’ll disrupt all our well-laid plans with the embassy by making impromptu PR visits to posts. I guess she took her cue from Bush himself, who rerouted rescue resources from Katrina so that they could show up in the background of his PR appearances. Style over substance…

So ANYWAY, after the embassy we set up our booths for the fair at Al Yamamah College. This was the opening day of a three-day fair. We even had the new king’s brother come and speak. Yes, I did say in an earlier post that it was supposed to be the King, but he too was pulled away by the visit from Karen Hughes (I’m not bitter). Student-wise, it was all guys (girls cannot visit at the same time – day three is reserved for them). And all these guys were interested in was stuff my school does not offer. One even told me my school’s offerings were “bool-sheet.” I’m trying really hard to like the Saudis, but when I get home I think I’ll sell my car and walk everywhere just to deprive them of a few bucks.

After the fair I packed up, said goodbye to Mike, Joseph, and the other tour members, the cabbed to the airport for my flight to Mumbai. It did not leave until 2:30am. I was packed in to a very old jet with a gaggle of foreign workers. It sucked, big time. But I got there, checked into the hotel, napped, went to the organizational meeting, then pigged out with everyone at a local restaurant, Khyber. Dish after dish after dish – it was an incredible feast. Made the past 48 hours fade out (or maybe that was the Kingfisher). Back to work in the morning…

Those pictures I promised...

...can be found below. I managed to get them off my camera and onto the laptop, but still the batteries are dead, so no new ones. I'll figure this out as soon as there's time. The new tour has started, so we are very busy.

Emirates Palace

Gatehouse to the Emirates Palace

Joseph chatting up some students in Bahrain

"No, I insist, you drive the Rolls."

worm's view of the central atrium

The group enjoying the smoking room

Yours truly, enjoying a shot of Wild Turkey (yes, it was on the menu).

Joseph, a young Telly

Mike, of the Rat Pack

A debate...

Hani, Mike and I

OK, camera still has no juice, so no new pics of my own (above is from Mike). Was going to show you the amazing Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi (and still will, en Shallah). If my camera was going to poop somewhere, Riyadh ain't a bad place for it. There is not much to distinguish this place from Amarillo, Texas - a hell-hole I've actually been to. But at least in Amarillo you can drink beer and flirt with pretty ladies. Not in Riyadh. Oh no.

So another digression: over the course of this trip, Mike and I have been debating over what allows you to claim having "been to" a country. I take the simple view that you must at least spend the night, and hopefully eat some distinctive food, try the local beer. Even this is sometimes cutting it close. Best if you can spend a few nights, see some sights, meet some locals. Mike, being an old man with little time left on this Earth (I keed, I keed), argues that simply setting foot in an airport gives one right to claim a country. How lame.

So who is more right? Or do you have your own benchmark? One other rep said you have to brush your teeth there. I thought that was interesting. Please comment... and visit Mike's site to heckle him.

Limbo

Okay, first off, this is not the post I want to make right now. I have some really, really cool photos to show off, but unfortunately my camera is SO out of juice, I cannot even download to my laptop. This would not be an obstacle, except that the battery charger I bought at CIRCUIT CITY (refund requested, if any corporate bastards are reading this) has decided not to work. Therefore, I give you the following anecdote:

Tomorrow our group flies to Saudi Arabia (one of two countries named after a family. What's the other? Discuss). Reps are taking bets over whether or not I will be detained and jailed at the airport due to some of the "artistic" photos in my school's catalog. We shall see. What IS certain is that no alcohol is allowed within The Kingdom (except at the US Embassy, which I hear throws a kick-ass party). Mark (from Toledo) and I decided that due to this we needed a couple or dozen pints of Guiness the night before the journey. Lucky for us, we found out where the only place in town has The Black Stuff on tap. Quite a cosmopolitan establishment it was: our waitress is the first Uzbek I have ever met, and we ended up befriending a gaggle of Australian platform workers. By "platform" I mean OIL platform. These guys travel around the region by barge, maintenancing platforms. They make quite a bit of money, and try to claim as little as possible, so I will not mention any names. What I will say is that I will never again complain about sub-standard accomodations. Anyone in Southville, or Panama City, has seen a container ship pass by, called so for their cargo containers. Guess where these guys are forced to sleep during their stay? If you said on the ship, that is bad, but not bad enough. They are sleeping on cots INSIDE A CONTAINER. That was their excuse for drinking, and drink they did...