I'm a slackass

Yes I am.

I have been on three short trips since posting last, and neglected to tell you about any of them. When this first goes up there will be no pics, but fear not, for they shall soon be added.


Our first stop, a river in El Salvador


Trip #1: Central America by boat

Ah, what could be better than a week in a 29-foot boat, fishing and cruising your way from Guatemala to Costa Rica with your father, your uncle, your cousin, Jose the captain, and Manolo the mate? Wait a second, that's... 6 dudes on a boat that can maybe sleep two in the v-berth? Yes, my friends, this is why we put in every night and found hotels, hotels surrounded with establishments serving rum. Every night but one, that is.


Marina in Nicaragua


A leetle crab


Let me tell you about the lovely customs officials of Nicaragua. They could not meet and board us at our first port-of-call because they said two huge container ships required their attention at the main port. No problem, the port was on the way to the next stop, so we decided to meet them there. Guess what - no container ships. These guys are just lazy. They make us wait awhile, then board with their black boots (which just about sent my father into epileptic convulsions) and toss all our luggage. May I point out that if we were smuggling anything, we had a full day to get rid of it already.


This is where I will move to the day after the day I have to kill someone


So we accidental hooked a sea turtle. Damn did he taste good. Just kidding, it was only a shell-wound. After a bit of panicked flipper-flapping he was fine.


So we start the day's trip late, then get beat to death by the SE wind they call Papagayo. We make it to our next stop, San Juan del Sur, just after sunset. We have to be checked here also, but the officials, who knew we were coming, have left the dock already. No problem, we'll get a hotel and meet them in the morning. No, no, no the dockmaster says, you must stay on the boat, even though it is raining and as I mentioned before the boat sleeps only two. To boot, we are out of alcohol and cannot get any until we are checked. We can't even go ashore for a meal. Here comes the worst part: on shore is raging the biggest party of the year, the town's feast for their patron saint. We get to listen to the music and revelry while we try to sleep, soaked and sober.




Manolo, striking a pose


In the morning we are boarded and checked again. We get to go in town for breakfast. A couple of American surfers are at the table next to us. I can't help but ask how the party was.
"Horrible dude."
Ah-ha! I am avenged! For some reason this party sucked. Then he grins...
"There were so many chicks we couldn't handle 'em all."
Son of a bitch. Lord, I despise surfers.


Cousin, Dad, and Uncle


So we continue as quickly as possible to the final port of Los Suenos in Costa Rica, skipping two other ports we'd planned to put in at. Gave us more time to fish and drink in Jaco, my old stomping ground where I spent six months helping open and manage a bar. That is way too long a story to tell you here. I'll let everyone know when the book is published.






Trip #2: Outer Banks with WORK FRIENDS

They love it when I refer to them as WORK FRIENDS. Mwah, ha ha ha ha. Yes, it was J____'s birthday, so I drove with her and a couple of other WORK FRIENDS to the Outer Banks. Nothing too extraordinary happened. Drinking, of course, and sunburns. That's about it. No shenanigans, because these are WORK FRIENDS.

Trip #3: Washington D.C.

This was for work, a conference on international admissions. I stayed in Georgetown dorms. The crinkly, stinky mattress gave me unpleasant deja vu. I got to see some old friends, from Furman (my alma mater) and Panama City. I did not get to see any monuments or museums. We had too much scheduled.